You, Sous Rature

Cardboard Marilyn, Michelle Chaplin
Cardboard Marilyn, Michelle Chaplin

This poem has gone through two erasures. I am most pleased with the third version because it simplifies the main idea with a few concise words.

Original

On Passing Through You

your smile
the apples I eat
on a hot July day

your air
the dancing feet
in a hip hop
drop and
tangle me in you

Did I ever say that cliché phrase
I love you?

No, I just breathed you in
and ate you
and lived on you
like iced lemonade
and apples in July.

First Erasure

YOU

your
apples
a hot July

your feet
a hip hop
drop tangle

breathed
ate
lived on you

iced lemonade
apples in July

Second Erasure

YOU

breathed
ate
lived
on you

iced
apples in July

–M.Chaplin

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Iced apples seem somehow the epitome of summer! (Kind of like you like fall but don’t want it to come.)

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    1. I think these types of apples would be rare; I may venture to say nonexistent, except in applesauce. The ones in the poem are the rare/nonexistent ones anyway. 🙂

      Like

      1. But, but, but… Science! We can deconstruct this? Hahaha

        Liked by 1 person

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